I’ve long considered that casual sex brings forth more cons than pros. Not to say that I am trying to push the idea of celibacy, but I’m noticing a pattern with the conversations I have had with other women concerning the topic. And I continue to be amazed.
I strongly believe that if women unify and stand together we can change the mindset of men who jump from partner to partner engaging in adventurous sex. But do all men think and act the same way, or are there are few hidden gems tucked away who choose to go against the grain?
Amazingly enough, I met a man who is also practicing abstinence. When he expressed his sexual reservation, I couldn’t help but inquire about the reasoning behind his decision. He gave me sly look and said: “if anyone wants to be with me, they have to work for it”. I was mindblown by the reality that I’ve never actually had a conversation with a man who feels just as strongly about abstaining from sex as I do. Then I realized that there is nothing sexier than a man who does not give it up easy.
My thoughts came back to the countless of women who have sex after just three dates then wonder why he doesn’t want a relationship. Only to realize he wasn’t really “that into” them.
Understand that a man will not work hard for something that comes free or easy. If you deny him sex and he suddenly disappears, then you’ll know there was only a physical interest. If he becomes inconsistent after you give him the booty, you’ll have to start over all again with someone new. It’s a vicious cycle when you consider the outcome(s).
Another example: I was at a party with a friend and upon arrival, we were approached by a younger man. We made small talk, but nothing big came of our encounter. As the weeks went by he found a way to contact me and seemed very interested. Even asking if I wanted children. At some point, I brought up my celibacy stance. Within two weeks, needless to say, he disappeared. I saved myself so much heartache and so much time. I believe that the man I marry will have enough self respect and self control to wait until our honeymoon to become intimate. If he can’t wait, then he is not for me.
Which brings me back to my point, why give it up on the third date when you don’t know if this man is looking for a serious relationship or a quick fling.
Yes, go out on dates, but remember that you have value and a man should prove his interest before he gets to be intimate with you.